Everything Fun is Forbidden

I think I might have to kick my own ass first and then make sweet, sweet make up love to myself. Sigh…

(Also from HS, and I’m pretty sure some of these lines are borrowed (?)… where has this notebook been hiding!!! HAHAHA)

Last night, I dreamed myself fleshless,
bearing over graying seas.
The sand whispered
“Be seperate. Expunge his memory. We possess you.”
I lived in my own universe.
Talked my own unveiling language.
Made myself into what I thought I wanted.
Until I met you.
I am curious about what I am feeling.
Is it real?
Are you?
Do I care?

You ARE a mind, a body and a soul.
You ARE whole.
You make me feel whole.

Imagine yourself.
Lying, floating in a boat.
Do you see me lying next to you,
fingers curled around your wrist?

And what do I do if you don’t?

(Wrote this in HS on a road trip with my bestie thru TX. I was describing the scenery as we passed it…. omg. Depressed much?)

Come into my world of burning hope.
Where desolation is companion to solitude.
Where corruption and contempt
mend love and hate into one.
Broken hearts and broken thoughts reign.
Devils dance at your fingertips.
Trees stand, like crooked hands.
Pointing, reaching for an end.
Come into my secret hell.
Your life’s end leads here.
Darkness is the only light.
Madness is the only calm.
Death is the only peace.
You see, life is buried here.
And more dies everyday.
Insecurity measures comfort.
There is sanity in the silence.
Open up your skull and find gray.
Whispering loathe.
The unborn voices creaking laughter.

I lost myself.

the morning after…


(girl):
what time is it? 7:48! where where are my where where where are my panties?
oh my god where are my panties?…
damn where…
i don’t…,
he gon think im a ho…
fuck that i liked it,…
i was drunk and it was my birthday anyway…
maybe i should just lay here and let him touch my booty…
mmmmm but he dont even know my name…

(boy):
i know she think that i just think she some kind of ho…
i don’t give a shit bout givin’ it up on the first night…
that just lettin’ me know…
she know what she want outta life…
what a helluva way to god damn wake up…
oh that shit was good oh maybe…
she’d get me some breakfast she so goddamn sweet, sweet as she wanna be… oh i just oh i wanna lay in her hair…
you can’t fall for it, don’t fall for it Ice Cold (ice cold!!!)
maybe i just roll over and lay on her booty yeah nah no no no , just lay and be cool be cool (ice cold!!) but what if she, what if she, what if she, what if she’s the one……..